She Gets It From Her Dad.

Ok….so I get up this morning, turn on the computer, sign in to instant messenger, and this message pops up:

sent 4/24/2008 1:12 AM:

Ok im layin in bed and everyone is asleep and i dnt think the computers even on but i was just seein if youd get this

**pAm**

 

My thought at this point……”Awwww, my daughter is thinking of me in the middle of the night!”

I read on…

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:12 AM:

Its 1 in tha mornin and i cant sleep cha cha cha

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:14 AM:

On a more serious note….kenya just talked in her sleep

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:14 AM:

So did craig when i was in the bathroom earlier

**pAm**

 

Then…..ta daaaaaa….this BIG announcement:

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:15 AM:

Im gettin up early tomoro…like 7.so be impresssed

**pAm**

 

(It’s 9:00 AM right now — she’s still asleep.)

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:15 AM:

Toast.

**pAm**

 

What does that mean?  Is she ordering breakfast?!

Then, there’s this:

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:17 AM:

So …..wat are you doin friday Nite? Cuz i mean we could go catch a movie?…if not thats cool im just sayin…you no…if your not doin anything and

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:18 AM:

Im not then why not meet up and eat some spaghetti and watch a film?

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:18 AM:

I mean no pressure.just let me know if you want to. Or dont i mean its up to you really.

**pAm**

 

Um…..WOW!  She’s thinking of me in the middle of the night AND she’s inviting me out to a movie and dinner?!!  —Some Mom and daughter time?!  (Getting excited)  WOW!

Unfortunately, the next several messages begin to slowly evolve into more conversation about the plan, but I quickly realize that she is “pulling my leg” and is pretending to be talking to someone else   Very funny.  Verrrrry funny.

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:22 AM:

Hmmmm…well then. Thats awkward.

**pAm**

 

Yeah….very funny.

Then, if you can imagine, it gets “better”…more random comments:

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:23 AM:

U  L  G  Y YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI YOU UGLY

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:25 AM:

Ha you thought i wasnt gonna text anymore…WELL THINK AGAIN AQUAMAN

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:27 AM:

You know what would be funny?

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:27 AM:

Idk im askin you..

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:29 AM:

Im jus livin the thuug life poppin the colla..got my mouf lookin sumthin like a disco Bawl.im feeln so jus get that dirt off ya shoulda 

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:31 AM:

Walk it out …wah bruh yuh yuh yuh dis is da way

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:31 AM:

Yea and i have no idea wat any of that meant…i tryed to hard

**pAm**

 

 Um…pray for us y’all.  Is this the first sign of multiple personality disorder?  Does it start with text messaging?  “Rapper” then “Valley Girl”:   

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:33 AM:

SO ANA WAY there i was like there just like Idk like omg like gosh i dnt even know but like he like just blew me off like ugh

**pAm**

 

Getting near the end….she realizes that she is laying on a flat board:

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:34 AM:

Idk but someday im gonna find that hole in this airmattress cuz its already halfway deflated

**pAm**

 

(There’s a story behind this.  When she came home from college, I tried to get her to buy a real mattress, but she wanted the fancy blow up version from Wal-Mart instead.  Since then, a hole has appeared and she has been unable to find it. 

She should have listened to her Mom, huh?!! )

It goes on:

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:36 AM:

Ya i just realized why i wasnt bein able to sleep! My fan was off! I turned it on no worries now those molecules arent stuffin my face 

**pAm**

 

Read her air molecule theory here.

Apparently at this point, the fan goes on, she can breathe and gets all excited:

 

sent 4/24/2008 1:37 AM:

Hallejuyer.

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:38 AM:

Put the phone on the hook! I sed…put the phone on the hook liddle girl.stop poppin that gum liddle girl.stop poppin that gum.

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:39 AM:

Call de po po!

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:41 AM:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

**pAm**

sent 4/24/2008 1:42 AM:

i feel good.

**pAm**

 

Whew!  I feel a little better now.  Maybe it’s not multiple personalities.  It’s just “Lack of Oxygen”.  Somebody remind me to get her another fan, please.

Last message:

 sent 4/24/2008 1:43 AM:

Hi mom. (if your even getting this i dont even know)